I’ve really struggled putting this post together.
We had the visit from Locala’s Stephanie, a specialist continence nurse, last week. She was lovely, as they all are, and was able to check mum’s vitals – all of which are ok, all normal for her age – other than the fact that mum is (besides everything else) diabetic. Stephanie talked to my dad about strategies to help the (double) incontinence: basically, get mum to drink more liquids!
Nevertheless, it took her very little time to recognise the main problem chez Sugden. They talked about the various problems he/she/they have to bear because of mum’s Alzheimer’s and Stephanie suggested that dad take up help offered by the various agencies and maybe let mum visit a day-care centre, at least once a week.
Of course, all of this has been on the table before and dad still stubbornly refuses help as he “can manage” and will “let us know when he can’t manage”.
Mum just sits there now, falling asleep from time to time, unless she is spoken to. When spoken to, she can react perfectly to the question or conversation at hand, but immediately loses all interest once the conversation drifts away. Constant stimulation is not something she gets, nor, I suspect, wants.
Dad has begun to complain of pains in his back and is worried that his hip is playing up again (he had a new one fitted eight years ago). He has therefore visited the doctor himself – something he will have seen as a priority as his main aim in life is to look after mum.
However, us trying to tell him that his back hurts because he’s lifting mum in and out of the bath (and that therefore someone else could be employed to do that) is like shouting at the moon.