I can manage


There have been several developments in mum’s care over the last few days. Things are certainly not improving.

Since my last post, I’ve had contact with Yasmine (Locala) and with Mags (previously with Kirklees) but now with Mid Yorkshire Carer’s Trust.  I’ve also had an appointment cancelled by Katie Dixon, the Admiral Nurse.  This remains sine die.

Yasmine has been kind enough to put pressure on the Locala incontinence team and we now expect a visit on Tuesday this week.  We’ve been waiting for this to happen since early August when it was first mentioned to Locala and it has been frustrating to see mum’s health fail so much during the time we have been waiting.  Hopefully, the visit will help – although I cannot guess how at this fairly late stage.

Mags, who is now the Business Development Manager for our local Carer’s Trust, had remembered the meeting we had some weeks ago and had asked if mum and dad wanted to take part in a new initiative that would mean mum receiving a subsidised day-care appointment.  For £6.00 she would be ‘looked after’ at a day-care centre from 10:00am to 3:00pm.  Lunch would be included, as would things such as bathing and/or hairdressing (at extra cost).  At first, dad seemed excited by the prospect of five hours to do what he liked but given a couple of days to think it over he rejected it quite firmly saying that it would be too much stress for him to get mum ready (etc.)  So, we’ve had to reject this amazing offer from Carer’s Trust.

Dad seemed quite agitated when he told me this and he added that whilst he appreciated everything I was doing – he ‘could manage’ and that I ‘could pick up the pieces‘ whenever the time came that he couldn’t manage.

Which leaves me in the unenviable position of wanting to help as much as I can but being kept at arm’s length.

I will attend the incontinence visit as ‘Mr. Memory’ and note-taker but after that, all I can do is watch from the side-lines and talk to the professionals as and when needed.

Photo Credit – https://flic.kr/p/FdhadA – With thanks.


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