It’s been a strange, but busy month: It started in Spain but almost as soon as we got back I developed man-flu, and then Sharon then caught it. Also:
- We’ve had various plumbing issues in the house which meant complete disruption in the kitchen and bathroom for most of the month.
- We’ve been guests at a friend’s wedding.
- We’ve travelled to London and eaten there.
- We’ve had my brother and partner over from Australia staying with us for a couple of weeks. They’d come to help us all with:
- The celebration of my dad’s ninetieth birthday.
We had come back from Spain early, because my dad had seemed to be getting a little edgy, so I took the opportunity of being back early to arrange a meeting to discuss a Carer’s Assessment with someone from Kirklees Adult Services. That meeting went well, a nice lady Mags Rogerson, was very helpful, but she was leaving two weeks after the meeting – so we have no continuity there. [Update – not true. Next post will explain.]
Nevertheless, Mags was able to gee-up the Locala incontinence service before she left her job.
We’d been promised contact from that service during the first visit by Carol back in August. However, nothing seemed to be happening and my mum’s lack of bladder control was getting worse. By the time my dad’s Carer Assessment came along, early in October, mum was having more serious accidents and had progressed from ‘pads’ to ‘pants’. So, thank you for your help Mags Rogerson – now (I think) at Carer’s Trust.
The big issue for me still is to convince my dad that he needs help.
Although he was 90 last week, he still maintains that he is ok and is managing well. But he’s not! Mum needs more care than he realises, especially personal care – but he is the gatekeeper and until he can be convinced that more care is needed, it will be difficult to get someone in. He still helps mum bath – which is, in itself, not easy, but when you only allow yourself a wartime measure of hot water in the bath, it’s doubly difficult.
However, I’m nearly there with him. He’s told me now that it’s up to me (as if!) but I think he realises that “I’ll let you know when I can’t manage” will be too late. All being well I will soon have someone going in and helping out at least once a week. We’ll see.